This is a story of my own self-doubt. Feeling down right now and thought I'd post this so you can hopefully learn from my mistakes.

I've been dreaming about working for Google forever, in my head I've turned getting that opportunity into a massive accomplishment. But when COVID hit, I got desperate. I started looking for new opportunities around August, around when a Google recruiter messaged me for another go at interviewing (I previously interviewed a few years ago and failed HC.) I figured I'd use this time to practice up on LeetCode and apply at 100 other places.

I was only able to get a single other interview lined up, and that was at Bloomberg. I got a call from Uber, but the recruiter quickly declined my candidacy after a short phone chat, and no other company responded. The drought of opportunities had me stressed out, I was positive that if it weren't for COVID I'd be drowning in responses and that because the economy is set to crash at any moment I need to take the first opportunity I get. My goal was to find a job ASAP.

I passed phone screens for both BB and G, and had to schedule the onsites. About scheduling a Google onsite, there's two schools of thought: either schedule Google as early as possible that way a potential offer will line up with offers from other companies (since Google typically takes longer), or schedule Google as late as possible that way you can use your earlier interviews as "practice" for "the real thing". I elected to schedule them a week apart from eachother, with BB coming first. In retrospect I think this was a big mistake, and I'll soon discuss why.

I first did the BB onsite, and I got the feeling it went really well. I don't intend to go into detail about my interview experiences in this post. Sure enough, two days after I got positive feedback from HR that they wanted to move forward with my application. Later that week I got my numbers, they offered a TC over 200k, which is actually nearly double my current salary (~4.5 YOE). It was much better than I thought I'd get.

Going back to my paranoia about not getting an offer, suddenly the releif of preparing was over. I felt like I no longer had to grind, that I could just take this offer and run. Who cares about working at Google, anyway? Honestly around 25% of the people I interviewed with at Google are assholes anyway, and I've heard bad things about Google's employee turnover and culture. I had Google's interview the following week, but from my last interview a few years ago I remember it took weeks to get my results. I kept imagining BB rescinding their offer just to find out I didn't pass Google after, and missing both. I got scared. I didn't even wait for Google's interview, I accepted the BB offer the following Monday. Honestly I've heard good things about BB's work life balance and the culture feels like a much better fit for me, but my ego and pride really wanted to be at Google. I didn't do a single LC problem the week before my Google interview, I almost wanted to fail that way I didn't have to worry about what could have been.

I did my Google interview, and I thought it went alright. I really got stumped for one problem and needed a ton of hints, but one problem incredibly easy and I really hit it off with the interviewer. Overall I thought it went okay, honestly wasn't sure if I'd get anything back. Fast forward to this week, they called me and said I passed the Google HC.

Now I can't help but think that I totally fucked up. I took BB's offer and downplayed my own ability. I did over 300+ LC problems and didn't even bother trying for Google because I got complacent and gave up as soon as I got what I wanted. At the time I felt greedy holding out for Google, and I was afraid I'd lose everything if I waited any longer. My desperation to take a good offer kept me from making the right choice, and now I'm missing out on what would have truly been my dream company. Moral of the story is to keep a level head and believe in yourself. Maybe in a couple years I'll try again, but right now I'm feeling a little depressed about it. Thanks for listening to my rant, hope you're able to learn from my mistakes.

TL:DR - Accepted offer at BB before interviewing at Google, only to later find out I passed Google HC. Keep your eyes on the prize and don't doubt your own ability.