I have been trying for FAANG since 2016. I have made it to the onsite for these companies each time. Their recruiters want me to return after each attempt. Each try I have convinced myself I just needed to crank out more problems. I have around 150 problems now.

Today I was rejected by Amazon, by far the easiest interview I have had for an onsite (no LC hard). And just my luck. The only question I skipped on the top 20 or so Amazon questions was the one that I got asked. All these days and night grinding LC... wasted. #1152

So people say keep trying but the time investment and the waiting period makes it impossible to keep the momentum going. I have no other interviews planned and I can't just grind LC for a year before trying for Amazon again.

I am honestly completely lost. Just for context I was onsite for Google 2016, 2018 (x2 for follow up), 2019, Uber 2019 and Amazon 2020. I can feel my mental and physical health deterioritating and it's clear that just grinding LC isn't working and since I don't get any feedback after an interview how can I possibly improve?

I used to feel positive about trying again but I'm almost 40 applying for mid level positions and not getting anywhere. I didn't have time to spend with my family for a month while studying for Amazon. Each time I tell my wife that I have an interview coming up the look on her face is fear and sadness, because she knows that the next month or so of our lives will be on pause while I spend all of my time studying.

They encourage you to try again and again because of false-negatives but I am thinking at this point it's pretty clear that I'm not a false-negative. I am almost never a quitter but maybe this is the breaking point for me.