Been working in IT from last 9 months and it's been extremely difficult for me. I am so, so mentally exhausted that I don't even feel like venting. Job is good (On paper), salary is good(on paper) but i'm almost consistently sad everyday from last like 3 months.

My last 3 months have been waking up at 9 , doing lc till 12, work from 12 till 10 or sometimes 11 in the night, doing some more lc till 12 or 1 AM and use snacks and lunch breaks to apply to companies on linkedin.

Have applied more than 200 companies with and without referral and hardly managed to land 5 interviews(mostly from startups) as almost every organisation is looking to hire someone with 2+ yoe. Out of those interviews I'm constantly getting ghosted by HRs, getting my interviews rescheduled for some weird reasons and just in general being treated as a not so important candidate.

Using my office timings to prepare for system design interviews, Preparing for DSA, going through subject list, focusing on job specificities and continuing this cycle 24x7 is extremely painful and I won't wish this to my worst enemy. My health is down, my confidence has gone down, the constant fear that I'm wasting my time of learning doing a job that doesn't involve any skill and which is not engineering is eating me from inside and on top of that watching people on linkedin or in friend circle doing great in their lives is adding an extra layer to the misery.

I actually couldn't care less for a 40 or 50 lpa job. I've even applied to orgs paying lesser than my current one just so that I can get out of this shithole and learn/build something.

I dont know if I'll ever come out of this vicious cycle. Feeling extremely helpless and exhausted, don't even have anybody to share all these things with. I thought I'd be living my life when I first got this job after being in a rat race for years, but here I'm in a rat race again. The only difference is that I don't have the capacity anymore.

Sorry for the long post, couldn't help myself tonight