Hi Guys, Its 2:36 AM of Jan 23 as I'm writing this and I have lost every hope now, I'm in tears as I write this and seek help froom this community, I have been spending ~2 hours almost evryday from last 2-3 months on an avg on LC but it seems like I'm not making any progress.
Here are my stats
I started being super motivated but got tierd after like 2 months as you can see, and then I became inconsistent, I only became consistent from Nov 2 and hardly left any day without solving quetsions, I have tried to do at least 1 question everyday since then.
Now, I'm not sure what am I missing. Here's my general approach to solve a problem.
- Work on it for 15-20 mins, sometimes even 40-50 mins. Depending on how much progress I made on that problem.
- If not able to solve via hints, I look for solution vids on YT.
- This step is the problem, I get super frustated while watching for the solutions.. I feel so bad about myself on not being able to solve that problema nd being a p#ssy and jumping on the solution.
- By the time I solve/study 2-3 question, I get exausted/even more frsustated and want to just leave , just like a kid wanting to leave a class, it feels that I'm forcing myself so that I should not feel guilty.
About the job, I work at teh biggest Open Soource tech firm in the world and I have been getting calls from recruiters from top product based companies(Amazon, ByteDance, DataBricks) but I have kpet declining them since I was never prepared/underprepared😞😞.
Getting calls from top pbc is easy for me since I have ~2 yoe as a backend engineer and my Github is pretty active, since I work for an Open Source firm. The only thing that lacks is prrepration which I talked above about what is happening with me.
I'm in tears as I write this because I feel that all my work has been wasted since I'm not able to solve prroblems sometime when I re do them. I get panic attacks, couln't able to sleep OR I've been waking up randomly at nights at odd hours thinking wishfully OR overthinking about how stupid I am on how I wasted the entire lockdown by wasting!. 😞
Yeah, I have become a pretty negative person from past 7-8 months.
I've read all sorts of blogs/article/strategy on how to use Leetcode effectively but seems like nothing's working, it's not like didn't I tried those, but nope, afterr somedays, I start to feel being super frustated/angry while solving Leetcode.
Now I feel that coding is not a thing for me, PLEASE HELP, I want a new job soo bad but I feel like that might not possible at all now.
What am I missing, please help, what should I do.
Thanks.